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Be ‘selfish’ so those around you can be happier.

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Be ‘selfish’ so those around you can be happier.
Interviewer Tom Bilyeu asked David Eagleman for insights on how he and his wife parent their children. Since the Eaglemans aren’t parenting experts, you might wonder why he would ask the question.
 
Both Eaglemans are neuroscientists, so are well aware of how the brain works and its connection with behaviour.
 
His response was not what I expected.
 
Quotes

All the experiences in your life- from single conversations to your broader culture- shape the microscopic details of your brain. Neurally speaking, who you are depends on where you've been. Your brain is a relentless shape-shifter, constantly rewriting its own circuitry- and because your experiences are unique, so are the vast detailed patterns in your neural networks. Because they continue to change your whole life, your identity is a moving target; it never reaches an endpoint. 
~David Eagleman, The Brain: The Story of You
 
You don’t perceive objects as they are. You perceive them as you are.
~David Eagleman, The Brain: The Story of You



Action Ideas
First, he made clear, their focus is just about getting through the day. Can you relate?
 
Second, he said the best way to try to influence a child’s behaviour toward doing an activity, is to model enjoying that activity. He gave the example of his son seeing his love of chess.
 
That got me thinking in the broader sense: How do I model trying something/anything new? And what do I do when I struggle to get the results I was hoping for?
 
We want our kids to learn new things, but are we modeling that behaviour? And do we share our new experiences and how we handle unexpected or unwanted results? Do we give up quickly, or tweak and try again? What are we teaching our kids?
 
For those of us at a certain age, there is a bonus for trying new activities. It builds new connections in the brain, reducing the likelihood or impact of dementia.
 
To almost conclude this article and 2018: pursue at least some of your curiousities, loves, passions, interests, so that you increase your aliveness factor and give permission to those around you to view life as more of an adventure than a pass/fail card.
 
And if you read that and thought, “I don’t have time to add anything more into my life!” Fair enough.
 
To conclude this article and 2018, If you can, add more positive activities in life. Where you can't change the activity, change your attitude/level of awareness to increase the enjoyment of doing the things you already do. That too will bring you joy and energy, even though your schedule hasn’t changed. That will also influence those around you. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for others.

Whether through joy or hardship, I hope you appreciate the opportunities for learning and growth that you’ve had in 2018. You are a different person now than you were a year ago. And, 2019 is another opportunity for growth, improvement, joyfulness, contentment, connection, or whatever it is you want to add or deepen in your life.
 
Talk to you next year.

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InnovAID Inc.
www.InnovAID.ca

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Websites for this article
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SDJxOwsq_k Impact Theory. Tom Bilyeu interviews David Eagleman. Parent comment at about the 45 minute mark. Interesting opinions on the penal system just after that.

https://www.eagleman.com/

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