Resilience is a jump-for-joy good news story!
We all want more of it! Great news - there are many opportunities to create more.
We need to build resilience to handle hard times. We also need to learn how to spot warning signs. For example, if a friend betrays us in small ways and we notice that friend is not trustworthy, by being aware of that and acting accordingly, we don’t need to handle the hurt of probable future betrayal.
All of us can improve our resilience. Ideally, we need to build resistance before we need it. Therein lies the problem.
Make a decision on how to improve your resilience and implement it. Do not underestimate a small step. If you improve by only 1%/day, you will be doubled in only 71 days. What a huge difference! Compound interest is magic. Consistency is key.
You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own.
~Mark Victor Hansen
I have short goals - to get better every day, to help my teammates every day - but my only ultimate goal is to win an NBA championship. It's all that matters. I dream about it. I dream about it all the time, how it would look, how it would feel. It would be so amazing.
1. Have goals that get you excited. Here is a link that will take you through a process that in the end, you will have goals that will help define you. It is a short process that can add fun, energy and purpose to your life. Love the simplicity of only three categories. The process can be completed in a few minutes.
2. Not sure what the goal is? What if you have a sort-of goal but can’t clearly describe it? Clarity and perception changes as we move towards a goal. The only area of clarity needed is the next step.
An analogy: Let’s say you want to climb to a mountaintop but can’t see the top nor is there a direct path to the top. Instead, the path winds back and forth. You only need to focus on the next stop. As long as each mini-goal gets you closer to the main goal, you are moving in the right direction.
3. Warning when pursuing a goal: the excitement is greatest at the beginning. Along the path there were will times when it does not seem worth it. Decide at the beginning if the goal is worth the sacrifice. Every goal has a cost. What would you do with your life if you were not pursuing that goal? Who will you have to become to pursue the goal? What excuses will you need to release?
4. Break down goals into small or very small daily action. Goals can be overwhelming but every goal can be broken down into something doable. Some larger goals need to broken down several times to become actionable. What is one thing that can be done today to move you towards your goal? Phone someone? Or to make it smaller - look up a phone number to call tomorrow? Sign up for a class? Or to make it smaller, narrow your selection of a class to a single class so you can sign up tomorrow? Read a book on the topic? Or to make is smaller, decide on which book to begin the next day. A small step is less frightening and is still forward moving.
5. Embrace change and create challenge. Author and speaker, Brendon Burchard, suggests creating monthly mini-goals. It could be something as concrete and measurable as doing 5 push-ups/day. Or it could be more nebulous – like becoming a more patient person. Tracking your progress (doing something measurable), makes it easier to be accountable. Committing for only month makes it more exciting, easier to make the commitment, more likely to succeed and builds momentum.
6. Find positives from past challenges/difficulties. I heard a story of very successful businessman, I believe from Levi Strauss, who was heading an expansion (into Japan maybe?). It was a chance for great success or great loss. To reduce his stress and give him confidence, he flipped through a stack of books. The books had not been purchased and didn’t have titles. They were lists of his successes he had documented throughout his life. What he read reminded him of his resourcefulness, his skills, and his ability to survive the rough times. Start tracking your daily successes. Don't think you have any? Smiling at someone when it doesn’t come naturally can be considered a success. Note it.
7. Worst case scenario. Think about it – in full blown colour – what is the worst that can happen? As well, think about the best outcome. Chances are, neither extreme will happen. Acknowledging the extremes, what is most likely to happen, and the benefits of trying, will give you a more balanced perspective. Most of us have an unclear, but very frightening, idea of ‘worst case scenario’. Sometimes when we think about it, the big, scary unknown isn’t near as big or scary as we thought.
A side note – were you uncomfortable when thinking about the best-case scenario? If you were, stay tuned for an upcoming list that addresses our fears that “I am not enough / I am not safe”.
8. Game the system. Make ‘doing uncomfortable things’ into a game. Keep track of the good things you do in a day. Have others join. Some systems are addictive. If you can develop one that is addictive and positive, hats off to you! A couple of years ago, I read a book about a games developer who became bedridden and how she used her knowledge of creating addictive games to regain her health. Wish I could remember the name of the book.
9. Focus on bright spots. One example is our ‘Slim Down for Summer Sale’. We want to reduce!
Starting next week, we are cleaning out the stock room and reducing the number of products we will continue to sell. Since some of the products are of limited quantity, the sale is only promoted to people on our newsletter list. If you are reading this, you are part of the ‘in’ crowd.
More resilience 'bright spots' coming next week, too, as we blast through more resilience-building ideas!
The future is full of jump-for-joy goodness.
P.S.I changed the format from one main focus to a list because 1) there are soooo many ways to build resilience, it would've taken months to complete. 2) I was bored writing it that way. You would've been bored reading it, providing you were able to stay awake.
P.P.S. Some of the websites I used to get a better understanding of resilience:
A recorded talk by Dr. Alan Christianson on resilience